Monday, February 21, 2005

The Doctor is Out.

Well it truly is a sad day for me, and many others out there, my friends.

The Godfather of Gonzo, the Jester of Journalism, the man who inspired me to write, to get tattooed, to question authority with gusto, to drive home the heavy handed questions, to attack those bastards in power and make them answer to the flames, to get a degree in journalism, has left this world and entered a new one.

I only hope the devil is ready for him.

Yes, it is sad but true, Hunter S. Thompson has left the scene in a blaze of self-induced glory, the likes we have not seen since, well Kurt Cobain. Of course, it is my speculation that it was not Cobain who Thompson felt akin to. I beleive it was Hemingway who made that violent and terrible impact.

Now, I am not one to condone suicide. I have written about this before. I feel it is gross and terrible. But I have, many times actually, toyed with the idea of doing just what the good Doctor did. Very recently in fact. Suicide, in all it's horror, is a beautiful thought. A way out. A end to the pain that is this life. I believe wholeheartedly that suicide provides the last comfort, the worst option, to those times in which we cannot see the horison because of how deep we are in the water. But it is one of the most selfish acts one could do. It destroys the poeple around you, leaving them to deal with you and all that you left unfinished and left behind. So Once again, let me repeat, I do not condone suicide. It is wrong. But I can see it's value in this society. In fact, there are a good many days where suicide seems the only logical conclusion in the world we live in. Landslides, volcanoes, tsunamis, war, greed and the state of the human condition in the modern day and age are all easily influential on whether we want ot keep moving or not. But it is odd that a man like Thompson, who openly discussed his multiple lives, his aversion to death (but coming so very close) would just up and take his life, just like that. It does not follow in his footsteps. But on the other hand, he was also a man who would not be told how to live. He was his own person right down to the core. Maybe there was that voice that simply told him that he was finished here. That he had better places to be. Better adventures elswhere.
Or maybe it was something very, very different. As we all know from Thompson's writings, he has never spoken much about relationships. He has never been one to speak about about the condition of love. While he was a genius in his own right, and exposed America's worst elements in bright glorious light (and repulsive dark) he never really openly discussed one of the most important aspects of life: love. He casually mentions his relationships in passing, as a side note really, but never, not once, in all of the writings I have read of his, has he mentioned the notions of love. Maybe, just maybe, this one topic, this unspoken element of Thompson's life carried the most weight. Maybe this was what drove one of the most brilliant writers of our lifetime, to load up a shotgun and end his life.

So it is with a grain of deepest sincerity for me to ask simply,

"Why Hunter?"

What would provoke you to do such a horrifically permanent thing? What would cause you to put that heavy bullet into your head?

We may never know. It may be none of our business. However, we can always speculate. We can always ask questions. We can always seek the deeper truth that exists. In fact, I believe it would be a disservice to Hunter if we did not ask what caused this act.

This is purely speculation, but something that I can only feel would be a stong enough motive for hunter to finalize the agreement with Life. Maybe it was Love which was at the root of his death. While I know absolutely nothign of Thompson's life, except through his writings, of which I have read nearly everything, I do one thing about suicide: There is no other force behind it as strong as love. There is no other thing that can build a man up so quickly and destroy him just the same. Love, my friends, is the ultimate emotion. It is the ultimate creator of worlds and the ultimate destroyer.

And so I go to bed now with the hope that this matter will be looked at. Maybe Hunter left a note. Maybe not. Right now, peace be with his family. Let them grieve. Give them all the time they deserve and require. But someday (in the near future, hopefully), they will give us, the soldiers who were led by this crazy brilliant Master some closure. Something. The credits have begun to roll and the movie has not finished. I believe it is his family who holds the key to the question "why" and I wait patiently for their words.

Of course, this might be the reason Thompson did it this way afterall...maybe it was just his time to fly, and he's sipping Rum and smoking a wonderful spliff and chuckling softly at his final prank. No doubt he knew we'll be talking about him until the end of time.

Hunter, may you find the peace in death that you could never find in life. And thank you for all that you have written. Finally, thank you for teaching me that Truth must always be the source for which we exist. Even if that Truth is a bloody dagger held by a double-thumbed fist...

Cazart You Billiant Old Bastard. You will be missed.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carl - A general comment on your entire site.

I've never spent so much time on anyone's blog - just sitting here at work, wasting my company's time, reading. Your originality is refreshing: I don't agree with everything you say, but I appreciate your perspective. Keep up the great posts, you're officially bookmarked by some random dude in Texas.

-Carl W.

February 22, 2005 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger wangateur said...

I will miss him ... BIG HUG for Juan, Jen, Willam and Anita… who will never be able to fill the hole left in there lives by the man in spite of the myth and legend attached to his life..

I am a long time friend of Juan we went to the Aspen Community School together I have been using the blogs to try to send a message of love to him and the family but I know he is totally swamped because of the media attention at Owl farm and I need to let him know that we care for Him, Anita and the whole family in this time of tragedy while respecting his privacy

Let's see if we can get the word out ...
He was first THE MAN….
He became the myth and legend
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He was the Dr. Gonzo who we all know who would be in your face and try to kill you if you attempted to try to take away his guns, drugs, freedom, privacy and the god given right to go into an explosive tirade about it.

To be such a person required him to have a unique emotional support structure. These people now need our support, love and understanding in this time of grief.

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February 22, 2005 at 4:15 PM  
Blogger CJMK2005 said...

Right On with your blog on the King of The JellyFish, HST. He's a writer and an Icon for most, but he's also just a person like all of us. It just so happens that he had a pulse on our generation the fun and the sublime. I guess thats what makes him so readable. He was a spokesman for what is twisted and wrong about the world and yes, he stomped on the Terra. Much more though he was a complicated writer and if you take the time to examine his life you'll understand that he hated being in the cheap, ugly areana of journalism and really aspired to writing the Great American Novel. It's just that once Fear and Loathing hit , that was his cash cow and his trademark and I think he felt obligated to speak to this legion of fans that he never knew existed. And for that you have to honor him. Anyway nice blog. PS-How do you get your info on the sidebar? Mine posts at the bottom of the page and I've been trying to move it to the right of my posts, to no avail. I emailed the Tech Heads, but they were of no use. It seems like it should be a pretty easy fix, but for the life of me I cant figure it out. Any help, greatly appreciated.

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